I'm Falling Again for Fine Line

 If you know me, you probably, or rather, definitely know that I'm a big fan of Harry Styles. Now, this is an outcome I had never anticipated. I didn't hate Harry Styles, but I was not a One Direction person, and I had very wrongfully assumed that to love one was to love the other, that they were the same. And before the fans come for me, no, I also don't dislike One Direction. They were just never really my thing. But Harry Styles is very much my thing. 

So how did I go from being completely ambivalent to being in the top 1% of spotify listeners? Well, I guess it started when I went to London and heard about the Fine Line release concert. I wasn't there--I was already leaving London, but the hype piqued my interest, so I decided to listen to what singles had been released and then finally the whole album once the pandemic hit. What I found wasn't frivolous pop but something that felt really genuine and oddly pertinent to my life. Fine Line is the perfect mixture of sadness and joy, recognizing that often the two can coexist. That our emotions are rarely perfectly parceled out as just good or just bad, and that's a wonderful thing. I felt recognized while listening to these songs. I could go from the pure bliss of "Golden" to the existential trouble of "Falling." And somehow all of these songs could fit perfectly together. 

This was my pandemic album, though Folklore takes a close second. Harry Styles's music was something that cheered me up when I felt particularly isolated from my friends, but also didn't feel artificial or saccharine. I could still feel sadness while I listened, which validated my emotions--the few bright moments of having left my friends behind in the middle of the semester and the loneliness. This is especially a feat of Styles's talents considering most of the songs are specific to romantic relationships. However, his lyricism speaks beyond the personal. These songs are deeply personal to him while also being real enough to apply to something completely different. There's an emotionality. 

Aside from pandemic troubles, I had lost a friend shortly before the album's release. I didn't expect an album that contained "Watermelon Sugar" to bring much solace aside from escapism, but it did. The upbeat pep of "Treat People with Kindness" is sure to make you smile and want to dance, to feel happy for those couple of minutes. But again, the lyrics stray away from happiness disentangled from more complex emotions. For such a bright song, it's quite dark. "If our friends all pass away, it's ok." To some, this lyric feels very odd and out of place. Given the year I'd had, it felt like someone reaching out a hand and telling me they cared, that it was ok, and it's ok to be happy and sad and grieving all at once. You can miss someone and still celebrate them.

Now, why am I telling you all of this now? Especially since I've written these thoughts and more on HerCampus. Well, all of that listening to Fine Line culminated in hearing the entire album (except "To Be So Lonely" since he apparently has something against that song) live at Love on Tour. It seemed a year and a half of listening and hoping to hear these songs had come to fruition. So I am here to say that yes, it was everything I hoped it would be and more. 

To start, Harry's (he did say we were friends, so a first name is in fact appropriate) philosophy was front and center in my concert story. I didn't want to go to the concert alone, and I needed to buy tickets the day of the concert, which required diligent Ticketmaster checking. Thanks to my dad's efforts and commitment to making me happy, I got tickets! I haven't been that happy in a long time honestly. And thanks to my mom, I had someone to go with. But let's be honest, her getting to see Harry Styles wasn't too much of a sacrifice--she was also excited.

Seeing Fine Line live, it's clear that Harry really loves what he does and wanted to have just as much fun as his fans. From grabbing feather boas tossed onstage to asking fans about their signs, Harry was there to celebrate with us. He sang (just about) every song, joked about which side of him we'd be getting throughout the night, and performed with earnest. He even had to stop the show in the middle of "Woman" for the very honest reason that he had to go to the bathroom. 

So this is just to say that perhaps I love Fine Line even more now that I've gotten to jump up and down to "Kiwi" and dance during "Canyon Moon" and sway along to my favorite song "Cherry." And yeah, my perception of all of these songs and how honest they were was right, which is a really special thing to see realized.

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